A series of unfortunate events

After sleeping an absolute ton yesterday, I actually woke up feeling pretty good early this morning. My desire to go and ride somewhere - anywhere - got the better of me and I set out on a nice flat route to see how I really felt. You know... maybe I can complete Festive 500 after all!

Winter treats: hot canned cappuccino and corn soup

I think the 'story' of this ride is best told by detailing what I was thinking at each stage. So, with approximate distances, here is the series of thoughts and realisations that led me through this morning's fun-fest:

• 0 km - "Man, it's cold out here!"
• 5 km - "I feel pretty good! This should be a fun ride."
• 10 km - "Fat, knobby cyclocross tyres were probably a bad idea."
• 20 km - "I'm already attempting to sing along, out loud, to 80s power ballads. I do not care."
• 30 km - "These new winter bibs are giving me a wicked chamois wedgie."
• 40 km - "My legs are far more tired than is reasonable for this distance..."
• 45 km - "Canned sweetcorn soup is the worst thing. Also, I don't feel that great."
• 50 km - "Is it possible to simultaneously vomit and crap oneself while riding a bike? Because I feel like that's a distinct possibility."
• 60 km - "It is beginning to rain. I don't really care."
• 70 km - "Emergency time: I need to scarf down an energy gel to get me home."
• 71 km - "There is remarkably little difference between gels flavoured 'Tropical Fruit' and 'Dog Shit'."
• 80 km - "10 km on, I can still taste that gel..."
• 85 km - "That ride was the worst idea. How did I survive?"

LESSON LEARNED: Don't ride when you have a cold.

...

Well apparently my Festive 500 plans have been changed to "Wake up with stuffy nose and scratchy throat; cancel all riding". Guess I won't be getting that second badge, in all likelihood.

Festive 500 approaches...

Been a really busy couple of months (and still is) with a whole host of stresses, but Christmas is nearly here and that means... Rapha Festive 500!

I have something really crazy and/or stupid planned this year. Stay tuned.

India, Part 5: Jaipur & Agra

This will be the last update - part five of five. I hope you've enjoyed the photos and stories. The trip was absolutely crazy, right up until the end - a true experience and a real adventure.

I thought it might also be useful to show a map of where, exactly, we went. India is mind-bogglingly huge: consider that it took us 17 hours by train from Delhi to Kolkata, for example.

I hope I can return to this amazing country sometime soon.

And so, to the final instalment...


Jaipur: Jaipur City, Amber Fort

Back in Pushkar I purchased an Indian-style shirt from a street stall. I put it on for the first time in Jaipur. I'm not quite sure how well it fits in with international fashion conventions, but let me just say: the Indians know how to dress in hot desert climates. That loose, long, light cotton shirt is probably one of the most comfortable things I have ever worn.

Agra: Taj Mahal

The trip back from Agra to Kolkata could probably have gone smoother. The plan was thus:
 - Drive from Agra to Delhi
 - Catch flight from Delhi to Kolkata
 - Arrive in Kolkata the same evening

However, the actual journey went something like this:
 - Drive from Agra to Delhi
 - Arrive late due to an incompetent driver
 - Rush across Delhi using the Metro
 - Miss our flight
 - Spend 3 hours attempting to 1) not get crushed to death in New Delhi train station; 2) buy tickets
 - Fail; buy tickets for the following day from black-market vendor instead
 - Try to check into a hotel in Delhi
 - Realise your passport is on its way to Kolkata with the one person who did catch a flight
 - Be refused check-in at said hotel due to the aforementioned passport situation
 - Be transferred between two police stations in an attempt to get an official statement
 - Ride three-on-a-bike through the streets of Delhi with a drunken cop who reeks of alcohol, who simply signs the hotel ledger then wanders off
 - Successfully check into hotel
 - Enjoy dinner in the only restaurant open at that time, which happens to be run by a hyperactive 5ft tall Nepali man with a ponytail
 - Acquire tickets from our black market vendor 30 minutes before the train departs
 - Catch the train, only to find our tickets for the coming 17 hour journey do not include bunks
 - Bribe the train conductor 200 Rupees to arrange bunks for us
 - Finally arrive in Kolkata... two days late

India, Part 4: Pushkar

Pushkar: 'Special lassi', Camel Fair

I'm a firm believer that in order to fully experience a country and its culture, you should make an effort to eat what the locals eat. Within reason, of course - I'm looking at you, Iceland...

Lassi is a yoghurt-based drink and can be either savoury (with cumin and other spices) or sweet (with various fruits, sugar, etc - for example, mint and mango are popular flavours). It is very tasty indeed and also serves the purpose of cooling down one's mouth after a particularly spicy meal. So when we got to the holy town of Pushkar, sat down for dinner and saw that the restaurant was proudly offering their 'Special Lassi', what else was there to do but order it?

It arrived, piled high with shredded coconut. The waiter, grinning from ear to ear, set it down on the table and disappeared off to get the rest of our food. Delicious (intensely coconutty!) and very drinkable, we each polished off our lassi in short order.

I think it was about halfway through the meal that the room started to spin. We all noticed this at around the same time. Then, as various other effects began to kick in, I think we began to realise that there was something other than just coconut in our lassis.

Yes, it turns out that in Pushkar - a holy town, like I said - there is quite the market for products that aid in meditation and enlightenment. This is completely legal, to the point where it's on restaurant menus... it's just not actually named.

The rest of the night could best be described as 'interesting' and also, unfortunately, 'largely forgotten'. Still, it's these unexpected experiences that make traveling so fun and rewarding... even if those experiences do come in the form of hallucinogenic yoghurt drinks.

Frankly I'm not sure quite how we managed to make it to the camel fair the following day, but I'm glad we did. I think I'll let the photos do the talking there, though!